Everything Else

The Plug.


On this colder than I’d like it to be, somewhat rainy day, I went to take a break from writing one of my last undergrad papers.  As I put down my laptop, I go to pick up my IPhone. Of course I did the typical scroll through Facebook and Instagram until it occurred to me how seldom it is for me to unplug.

Earlier year I was uber proud of myself for deleting my Pinterest, Twitter and Snapchat. I had made myself a promise to limit my social media intake but I was still logging on more than I was logging off just on less social media outlets. Ultimately, I came back to Snapchat (for the filters- I’m not even going to act like I don’t like them) for a time and then deleted it again and created a new Twitter to be able to connect my blog to the hashtag-loving Twitter world. It’s crazy to think about how much time we spend on our phones, like absolutely insane. But it happens. Whether you’re spending hours watching videos on YouTube, pinning items to your Pinterest boards, or tweeting on Twitter up a storm, social media is always available…literally always. Originally created to connect the world more closely (which I’d like to think has happened in many ways), it has also very much disconnected us as well. Going out to restaurants, you see more couples than not on their phone (we’re guilty of it too). On vacation, you see most everyone glued to their phones as phones have taken the place of cameras obviously but still with folks primarily posting then and there (again, guilty of this too). Remember the days of using the camera on your trips then coming home and uploading them the old-fashion way through the computer? I hardly do myself, but it definitely used to be the norm.

For instance, one of the major reasons I left my sales position in automotive was due to this…NOT BEING ABLE TO PUT THE PHONE DOWN. It’s easier than it used to be, it’s not my only livelihood working wise as I once thought it was. While this past year has been much better in regards to not staying as plugged in, this is something I’ve had to work on. It’s like any other habit to be frank.

Over the past year, I feel as though I have grown a bit, simply by putting my phone down and being more present in the moment. Whether that be by not posting on Instagram as much to not checking in on Yelp or Facebook, I’ve worked at putting the phone down more than merely picking it up.

Staying plugged in may be the new social norm, but you’re more often than not missing the plug on what’s going on around you in the process.

How do you decide to stay plugged in versus not throughout your week?

I would love to hear some feedback on this topic.

P.S.- This was meant to be posted a month ago, but I got sidetracked, most likely by being too plugged in….if that tells you anything.

Life Lessons

Late Night Tip.

Some of the biggest lessons of my life were never remotely taught in the classroom. You can’t teach life experience, you’ve got to live it✌🏽

Yes, this was the Facebook status I concocted upon getting home tonight…. but there’s more to the story.

On my drive home at 3am tonight, I began thinking about all the people I drove to the bars, from the bars, to house parties, to video game releases at midnight etc and my wheels began to turn.

Just a few weeks ago, I began driving for Lyft as a part-time gig. With grad school fastly approaching, a wedding to plan, life, etc, I thought, “Why the hell not?” Either I’m out and about, spending money I don’t need to spend at the moment or at home.

I’ve met people from all walks of life, mainly college age folks on these drives. We’ve discussed majors, minors, failed midterms, frat boy problems, literally a mix of everything. I always find myself saying things like “Don’t sweat the small stuff”,  “Enjoy your college years”, “You literally have the rest of your life to have a big girl or big boy job, seriously live it up”, etc. The moments after these exchanges I always question to myself, “When in the hell did I get so old?”

Truth be told, I’ve been in school on and off for the last 22 years. That’s a long fucking time. And frankly, I’m incredibly tired of going to school. Just in general. At this point you may be wondering, “well you should have just gone straight through”. Yeah okay. At a minimum, if you just go from Kindergarten to graduating with your bachelors degree, that’s 17 years. It’s longer if you add 2 years of preschool as well as any grad or post grad school. From there, then what? You work until you’re basically too old to enjoy your retirement. As a realist, bare with me, this will be most people. The classes I just finished to wrap up my undergrad, I’ve been physically doing those assignments in the workforce the past 5 years or so. Yet here I was, writing papers about nonexistent businesses, building up proposals and plans for a grade rather than actual pay like I had been accustom too. All for that little piece of paper (my bachelor’s degree).

Some days it feels as though we put too much stock in formal education and not enough it a little thing called life experience. (This is coming from the woman getting ready to go to grad school even.) Living in itself is learning. There’s so much to be learned from reading, from doing, from conversing with other people with different perspectives from you, from traveling, etc. There’s so much knowledge to be gained from little things known to be called life experiences. There’s so much to be learned from life itself outside the classroom, if we’re just receptive to all that surrounds us. Embrace it. You have your entire life ahead of you. Take time to explore and marvel, to learn and to grow. You’ll later come to find they were some of the best days of your life.

Renaissance Concourse Atlanta Airport Hotel- Atlanta, Georgia
Girl Power, Life Lessons

Open Letter To The Woman Who Is Her Own Worst Critic

Dear Miss,

Hello there miss perfectionist, miss independent, miss I can do it all. Yes, I’m talking to you!

Life has a funny way of getting away from us sometimes. Before you know it, you’re 27 years old, can’t wait to get home after a long day just to take your pants off, eat a bowl of mac and cheese (what I meant to say was a kale chicken caesar, but really I meant mac and cheese), and breath a minute. Then before you know it a couple of hours have passed and you’re silently muttering sh**, sh**, sh** as you try to find your textbook to complete a last minute assignment that you swore you wouldn’t wait til the last minute to do. At this point you’re up way past your bedtime regretting you didn’t do it sooner then dreading the next day to get up and do the same thing all over again. When you finally get to bed, it’s as though Google Chrome updated in the middle of your assignment and without asking your brain conveniently pops up every single tab that’s been on your mind that day: how hard you worked, what you could have done better, this, that, and every other thing. It happens. Life happens.

Stop being so hard on yourself. Okay so yeah, we all have this somewhat vision of what our lives are going to be like at 18, 21, 25 and so on. Then you got there and it’s not at all what you thought or planned or considered ideal for yourself. Am I right? It happens to all of us in some form or fashion. Ultimately, where you sit is where you are at this current point in your life. Does that define you? NO. Does that mean you a failure?? HELL NO. Does that mean you will remain where you are the rest of your life & this is it??? ONLY IF YOU CHOOSE IT. Set realistic expectations for yourself and a healthy timeline to complete them in. Not everything can be accomplished in one day contrary to what we sometimes tell ourselves. Arrows move in one direction and that’s forward. We’ve all had a speed bump in the road from time to time, don’t let that define you. You are more than that and you are exactly where you need to be for today but don’t stop moving and keeping on.

It’s okay that you don’t have all the answers, nobody does.  We’re human. Every day we’re growing and evolving, hopefully into better versions of our self. Reach out to your parents, a mentor, etc. Don’t feel like talking it out. Start reading, find a hobby, something you can totally immerse yourself in. Sitting and overthinking as to why you don’t consistently have your shit together at this point in your life is not the answer, you’ll simply be wasting your time.

Appearances are not always as they seem. While social media has a lot to do with this, stop comparing yourself to others. Your size, your looks, your house, your vehicle, your job/career choices. Some may say money is the root of all evils, I say envy is. The grass will ALWAYS be greener on the other side (EVERY SIDE) if you’re not busy watering your own. You will never be happy with what you have if you are looking continuously at what everyone else has. No matter what that may be, be thankful for what you do have, what you’re aspiring to be and achieve. Someone, somewhere is wishing to have just a little portion of what you have going on in your life while you sit there thinking what you have or don’t have is simply not enough. Stop looking for that destination in which you will finally be satisfied. Learn to appreciate where you’ve been and where you are, while looking forward to where you’re going.

Learn to say no from time to time. Stop spreading yourself so thin, giving the best of yourself to others, saving nothing for yourself. Sometimes we find ourselves giving so much energy to people, things, etc that don’t deserve it. Take a step back, sometimes we truly can’t see the forest for the trees. This applies to everyone differently, but ultimately understand that time is precious and you cannot get it back.

Ask for help from time to time, you don’t have to do it all by yourself. Being stubborn as a mule, all of my life, it took me years to understand being strong  truly means knowing when to reach for another’s hand and sometimes we can return the favor and other times we simply have to pay it forward.

And for the love of everything, stop trying to please every damn body. You will never achieve this. Spending years in sales, giving client after client, the best customer service I had to offer, I always fell short with at least one. With friends, I have always had a diverse group of friends, so many different interests and hobbies, you’re going to disagree from time to time and you’re not always going to be on the same page. Get over it. It happens and that my dear is life. Do the best you can and move on.

You have the same 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week that everyone else in this world has. Use that time the way you see fit, to the best of your ability. If you are doing simply that. How can you do anything more?



The Woman Who Has Been Her Own Worst Critic