Open Letter To The Woman Who Is Her Own Worst Critic

Dear Miss,

Hello there miss perfectionist, miss independent, miss I can do it all. Yes, I’m talking to you!

Life has a funny way of getting away from us sometimes. Before you know it, you’re 27 years old, can’t wait to get home after a long day just to take your pants off, eat a bowl of mac and cheese (what I meant to say was a kale chicken caesar, but really I meant mac and cheese), and breath a minute. Then before you know it a couple of hours have passed and you’re silently muttering sh**, sh**, sh** as you try to find your textbook to complete a last minute assignment that you swore you wouldn’t wait til the last minute to do. At this point you’re up way past your bedtime regretting you didn’t do it sooner then dreading the next day to get up and do the same thing all over again. When you finally get to bed, it’s as though Google Chrome updated in the middle of your assignment and without asking your brain conveniently pops up every single tab that’s been on your mind that day: how hard you worked, what you could have done better, this, that, and every other thing. It happens. Life happens.

Stop being so hard on yourself. Okay so yeah, we all have this somewhat vision of what our lives are going to be like at 18, 21, 25 and so on. Then you got there and it’s not at all what you thought or planned or considered ideal for yourself. Am I right? It happens to all of us in some form or fashion. Ultimately, where you sit is where you are at this current point in your life. Does that define you? NO. Does that mean you a failure?? HELL NO. Does that mean you will remain where you are the rest of your life & this is it??? ONLY IF YOU CHOOSE IT. Set realistic expectations for yourself and a healthy timeline to complete them in. Not everything can be accomplished in one day contrary to what we sometimes tell ourselves. Arrows move in one direction and that’s forward. We’ve all had a speed bump in the road from time to time, don’t let that define you. You are more than that and you are exactly where you need to be for today but don’t stop moving and keeping on.

It’s okay that you don’t have all the answers, nobody does.  We’re human. Every day we’re growing and evolving, hopefully into better versions of our self. Reach out to your parents, a mentor, etc. Don’t feel like talking it out. Start reading, find a hobby, something you can totally immerse yourself in. Sitting and overthinking as to why you don’t consistently have your shit together at this point in your life is not the answer, you’ll simply be wasting your time.

Appearances are not always as they seem. While social media has a lot to do with this, stop comparing yourself to others. Your size, your looks, your house, your vehicle, your job/career choices. Some may say money is the root of all evils, I say envy is. The grass will ALWAYS be greener on the other side (EVERY SIDE) if you’re not busy watering your own. You will never be happy with what you have if you are looking continuously at what everyone else has. No matter what that may be, be thankful for what you do have, what you’re aspiring to be and achieve. Someone, somewhere is wishing to have just a little portion of what you have going on in your life while you sit there thinking what you have or don’t have is simply not enough. Stop looking for that destination in which you will finally be satisfied. Learn to appreciate where you’ve been and where you are, while looking forward to where you’re going.

Learn to say no from time to time. Stop spreading yourself so thin, giving the best of yourself to others, saving nothing for yourself. Sometimes we find ourselves giving so much energy to people, things, etc that don’t deserve it. Take a step back, sometimes we truly can’t see the forest for the trees. This applies to everyone differently, but ultimately understand that time is precious and you cannot get it back.

Ask for help from time to time, you don’t have to do it all by yourself. Being stubborn as a mule, all of my life, it took me years to understand being strong  truly means knowing when to reach for another’s hand and sometimes we can return the favor and other times we simply have to pay it forward.

And for the love of everything, stop trying to please every damn body. You will never achieve this. Spending years in sales, giving client after client, the best customer service I had to offer, I always fell short with at least one. With friends, I have always had a diverse group of friends, so many different interests and hobbies, you’re going to disagree from time to time and you’re not always going to be on the same page. Get over it. It happens and that my dear is life. Do the best you can and move on.

You have the same 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week that everyone else in this world has. Use that time the way you see fit, to the best of your ability. If you are doing simply that. How can you do anything more?


The Woman Who Has Been Her Own Worst Critic

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